It's Official (Good News For A Change)

I just finished signing documents, and attending the first official staff meeting, and now that the website is (partially) updated (scroll down), I feel like I can finally make this announcement: I have recently been hired back on staff at KPSU, working as the Assistant Development Director. For those of you who have been following my radio career, I was working at KPSU from 2004 - 2007 as the Programming Director, and left for a variety of reasons. Fortunately, nearly all those reasons have quit, been fired, or otherwise no longer have any significant influence on KPSU anymore, and after a successful interview with the new Station Manager, Doug Friend, I am back to getting paid to do radio.

This is a huge, personal success, especially after the way I left the station at the end of 2007. I will try to avoid re-hashing old bullshit, but the short version is that I became ensconced in an internal political battle which was not productive for the Station, the DJs, the Staff, or anyone. My particular perspective is that we should do the jobs we were being paid for. There were a number of people who did not see things that way, and in the long run, pushed me out of the Station for rocking the boat. It was a really painful experience to go through, especially since I really did care about the station, and really do care about radio. 2008 was a very painful year.

Anyway, to cut to the chase, I started volunteering again in 2009 when many of that group of staff and volunteers were gone, but there were a few still running in the woodwork that had more power than they should have, that prevented me from getting back on staff. However, that all changed now that Doug is calling the shots, and his attitude, drive, and perspective on radio and what KPSU is (and can be) is refreshing. But at the end of the day, I am just happy to be vindicated, and working in a job that was, previously, my favorite employment I've ever had.

It's not the same job that I used to have, but that really doesn't matter. The job of Development is to help Develop KPSU in all of its relationships, internal, financial, and in the community. Given the recent issues the KBPS cutting our AM broadcast signal, everyone on staff is going to be pulling double duty to help tie up all the fallout from that. However, we are all fairly optimistic about the future, and considering that AM radio is actually going the way of a vestigial limb anyway, it's about time we starting thinking about the digital future most everyone else has already been living in.

I will continue to teach classes for UNST, and all the usual things that I have been doing recently. But I am also back where I belonged in the first place, and it is very hard for me not to rub it in the noses of some of the people that caused me to have to leave in the first place. For Earl's sake, being the bigger man is REALLY fuckin' hard.

So Dig This Big Crux

List monitors arrive with petition.
Iron-fisted philosophy
Is your life worth a painting?
Is this 'girl vs. boy' with different symbols?
Being born is power
Scout leader nazi tagged as 'big sin'.
Your risk chains me hostage.
Me, I'm fighting with my head,
I am not ambiguous.

I must look like a dork.

Me, naked with textbook poems
spout fountain against the Nazis,
With weird kinds of sex symbols in speeches
that are big dance thumps.
If we heard mortar shells,
we'd cuss more in our songs
and cut down the guitar solos.

So dig this big crux.

Organizing the boy scouts for murder is wrong,
ten years beyond the big sweat point.
Man, it was still there,
ever without you coming back around, look!
Coming together, for just a second, a peek.
A guess at the wholeness that's way too big,
at the wholeness that's way too big

Summer's Ready When You Are

I've got a double-dose of radio for you, as I bring you something old and something new, both of which got me to shake my ass in spite of all the crap that's been plaguing our station lately. Ob-soive:

Episode 072: Summer Sounds
(Featuring all songs that remind me of Summer.)

Playlist & Footnotes.

And, at 11 AM, listeners heard:

Retrocast of "Dance The Afternoon Away" (25 April, 2006)
(Featuring an hour long dance party, in only the way I can present it.)

Playlist & Footnotes.

While things might seem a little grim, given the news that we lost our AM broadcast signal, the staff and volunteers seem united in the believe that this is a new beginning. And from the sounds of our shows today, I can say we almost sound better, if that's possible.

Of course, in the end, you are the final judge of that.

See ya in seven.

Important News

It has come to my attention that KBPS - KPSU's parent station, that owns the license we broadcast on - just pulled the plug on our ability to broadcast. Apparently, according to the information I received, the person that runs KBPS (a notorious and vindictive man by the name of Bill Cooper) became enraged last night when there was a discussion of sodomy broadcast after 10 PM. (This discussion avoided the seven words that are forbidden by the FCC.) It should be noted that the FCC does not regulate content after 10 PM and before 6 AM. Bill merely took it upon himself to drop us, merely because he was unhappy with the kinds of things we broadcast.

Blasphuphmus Radio will continue to air on 98.1 FM (on the PSU campus), and will stream live at kpsu.org. We will also continue to offer the show as a podcast. (You don't need up to update anything to keep receiving the show.) But if you are tuning in at 1450 AM, you will not be able to hear us, or any KPSU show, anymore.

If you would like to contact Portland Public Schools - who own KBPS - to tell them how you feel about Bill Cooper's decision, you can call them directly at 503-916-5828, or e-mail them at pubinfo@pps.k12.or.us.

This is a very, very sad day.

Sex, Drugs, And Particle Physics

I finished "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!" yesterday, much to my own delight. (I discovered that the complete text is available online, and the public library has a wonderful, 10-disc audio version as well.) The book is edited from a series of interviews and conversations conducted with Feynman, and explore the more unusual aspects of his life. (Playing in a Samba band in Brazil, his short-lived career in art, his experiences learning to pick locks, etc.) The majority of the book tries to mine "funny" out of the life of a noble prize winning physicist who helped build the bomb used on Japan.

Feynman's dedication to solving puzzles, playing games, and generally being the smartest guy in the room is pretty incredible. I'm particularly impressed with his attitude toward the bullshit we deal with on a daily basis: royalty, celebrity, wealth, etc., are to be mocked, derided, and insulted, but being clever, earnestness, and intellect should admired. His public defense of a local strip bar (where, he claims, he would work on some of his theories on the paper plates) sits next to his mocking the US governments handling of patents as a testament to where his values lie. Not only practical and intelligent, he seems like exactly the kind of guy that sees the world for what it is, and not for how it is often presented.

One thing that did bother me about the book, though, is that his attitudes and intellect do conspire to create a certain kind of smugness and pretension that, ironically, works against his one feelings and attitudes about smugness and pretension. This is something I've struggled with in my own life; usually, the people who are against the bullshit in this world often take things so far in their own presentation that they become purveyors of their own pretension and bullshit. (Case in point: most subcultures.) Yes, I love it when the Country Mouse gets the better of the City Mouse, and I am naturally attracted to those kinds of stories anyway. But when the Country Mouse is singing his own praises as being better than the City Mouse, I start to get a little frustrated.

I also find his extreme preoccupation with sex to be a little ho-hum. This is obviously cultural, in our case; Americans are so completely uptight about sex, and at the time this book came out Revenge of the Nerds hadn't yet changed the cultural perception of what the geeky guy in glasses was thinking about. So I can see why Feynman wanted to drop these stories about his adventures in bars, with girls, even if his advice is somewhat contemptible (if you treat girls really badly, they will sleep with you every single time). In the end, the So What factor starts to take over. Yes, you like pretty girls. Who doesn't? Yes, it's unexpected that a Professor would be chasing skirts and getting into fights in bars. Can we get back to the lock-picking stories? Everything relating to being interested was sort of boring, and instead of being revealing and shocking, it read more like, "Yeah, who isn't like that? Next." Humans, Feynman included, love to think that they are skirting the edges of acceptability when they are in polite society, not realizing that most other people feel this same way about themselves, too.

One persistent element of this book that I loved, though, is the reflections on alienation. Again, there is nothing new or unheard of in this, but his befuddlement and confusion about the human race struck a chord that rang very true for me, too. Specifically, his realization that the majority of people learn through memorization, rather than understanding. I've come up against that hundreds of times in my life. I feel like an absolute moron when I can't understand something, even if I could give you the right answer because I memorized it. Not understanding something is a terrible state to be in, and I am constantly living in terror of the things I can't parse or rationalize. A large portion of the world around me seems content with not knowing, and I feel as if this simple schism marks the divide between myself and the rest of the world.

But more general than that, Feynman outlines his struggles to incorporate himself into a world that doesn't make sense to him. He is baffled by arbitrary custom or inane social practice, and yet wants so badly to find a way to navigate them successfully, as if he's trying to solve the puzzle that is humanity. Our entire culture is based on establishing rules and scenarios that alienate some while including only select others. Feynman is horrified by this, and yet so desperately wants to be a part of the world that he can't entirely reject it. He jokes, kids, and does everything he can to avoid playing by the rules, but at the end of the day he can't entirely remove himself from society just because it is confusing.

That, more than anything, seems to be what he was driving at in this collection of strange anecdotes and bizarre reflections. Yes, this world is stupid, horrible, full of mean spirited people, and on the whole not the place you would choose to live if you could make that choice. But at the end of the day, we all have to live in the world. You might as well make a game of it to help pass the time.

Good advice? That's not my place to say. But there were times I laughed out loud, and others where I cried. What more could you ask for in a book by someone who made the bombing of Japan possible?

Assholedness

Here is a problem I have struggled with my entire life: pricks. Real dipshits. The kind of people that, very clearly, have no interest in doing the right thing, and have managed to manipulate the world around them so they can get exactly what they want in life, usually by crushing the dreams of others. There are generally two varieties of these fuckfaces: unaware and self-aware. Both are very dangerous in and of themselves.

The unaware nimrod is a mean-spirited idiot. They are genuinely stupid, and don't even realize the extreme nature of the lame shit they do on a regular basis. In fact, realizing anything connected to the consequences of their own actions is a skill they don't even know exists, let alone realize that they haven't cultivated. In an extremely moronic way, they genuinely believe that the entire world exists to please themselves, and stumble through life trying to fulfill every whim and desire, because they don't understand this is a jackoff move.

The self-aware rat bastard recognizes that their actions hurt other people, and relish that thought when they do.

On the whole, most of the people I know fall into the former category. Occasionally I've had to do battle with a few in the later, but they really are less common in my experience. Ironically enough, there doesn't seem to be a political component to this equation. While I love to pick on Dick simply because his is a self-aware assrat, I have met people of every political inclination who enjoys dickheadedness, and a surprising number of Left Wing people end up being in the self-aware category, while on the whole the Republicans I've met personally are so dim-witted as to suggest that they just don't know any better. But that's neither here nor there; my point is, assholes abound.

Anyway, my big struggle in life has revolved around the following conundrum: is it worth telling someone, even if they are self-aware, that they are a prick? I have had it ingrained that you should always try to be the better person, to turn the other cheek, and all that bullshit. But there are a number of scenarios where it would be entirely satisfying to just tell someone who had dicked you over, "You. Yes, I'm talking to you. Everything you do are the actions of a real, total, and complete asshole, and I would like to introduce you to a number of people who agree with me. When I say asshole, I mean that you have very little redeeming value in our culture when you act like that, and it is no wonder that you are lonely, ugly, and disgusting." It would be incredibly satisfying, don't you think?

The reason I ask is that I have recently been vindicated after mistreatment by a gigantic, unaware prick. This guy is just on the edge of awareness, though, and with a little push, I think I could really make him feel awful about what he's done, to the point where he would carry it with him for a couple of years, possibly. (He fancies himself a nice guy.) Not only that, but there is a large line of people behind me that agree, and would love to see him suffer. I am also in a position, now, to make a choice about what to do next. I have the ability to explain to him, consequence free, his fucktardness, and would probably even find support in doing so, or at least other people who feel similarly, and would point and laugh that he finally got his comeuppance.

So: is it worth it to be the better man in this situation? A large part of me says yes. But my inner asshole really wants to be a gigantic prick this time around.

Another Radio Appearance

I just got done appearing as a guest on KPSU's very own quiz show, All The Right Answers, hosted by Alex. Here are the appropriate links:

All The Right Answers

Playlist

Quiz shows are fairly rare outside of NPR these days, and I was really excited to find that we had one here on KPSU. I've been unable to get on the show during the school year, but the summer seemed like a fantastic time to join in on the shenanigans.

Alex also hosts a fantastic show on Tuesdays, called Radio Mystery Theater, which is entirely dedicated to Old Time Radio recordings from shows like The Shadow, Philip Marlowe, The Whisperer, Dragnet & Charlie Chan. This is a rare treat for radio listeners, and something dedicated to interests near and dear to my own heart. I highly recommend tuning in.

It is amazing the kinds of things that used to dominate radio, and with shows like this on KPSU, we sound more and more like the stations you used to hear in 60's, 50's and 40's. I'm super stoked to have been a guest, and you may hear me on the show again in the coming months.

Breakfast Discovery

After a week of Kitchen alchemy and spell-casting, I've made a very important discovery: breakfast is 75% better with the addition of tomatoes and avocados. I had grown used to a very simple (and fast) concoction involving potatoes and eggs, and depending on how fancy I was feeling, I would add curry to the potatoes, and cheese to the final product. (Okay, I would always add cheese.)

However, it appears that topping off this simple creation with chopped tomatoes, and adding a few spoonfuls of avocado, makes this breakfast much more interesting, and delicious by at least threefold*. Additionally, this is a fairly inexpensive addition to the meal, provided you plan ahead, making this new discovery among some of the most important in my book.

I'm currently writing to all sorts of people to see if I can gain recognition for this revolutionary breakfast magic that will undoubtedly change the face of food forever. The only decision left is to determine which overpriced breakfast joint I should sell this amazing science to. I think $1000 cash is a fair price, don't you?

*Numeric estimates are only accurate within four decimal places.

Everything Old Is New Again

Wait a minute. Something looks different here...

Time Is The Essence

The Past, Present & Future collide in an explosion of radio offerings this week, answering the age-old question: What can The Past say about The Future? Ob-soive:

Episode 071: The Future
(Featuring a selection of songs dwelling on a single, unified subject.)

Playlist & Footnotes

AND!: I was also tapped to run sound for another in-studio performance on What's This Called? Ob-soive:

Aural Resuscitation Unit on What's This Called?, Live!
(Featuring a live performance by Iowa's Aural Resuscitation Unit.)

Playlist & Footnotes

Sometimes, when I'm running sound for groups like this, I love to imagine how frustrating it must be for conservative radio enthusiasts to tune in and hear a 45 minute block of experimental noise that bears little relation to traditional broadcasting. Good times. This is one of those shows I wish I could have heard live on the AM. It must have been better is antiquated mono.

Next week, tune it at noon for a two-hour extravaganza. Should be a good 'un.

See ya in seven.

Problems

Due to the financial limitations of the summer, my phone was just shut off. I won't be able to get it turned back on until I get paid again, so until that time, I will only be reachable via e-mail. To help alleviate the situation, I will end my Facebook fast to help improve communication.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Self Deception

Lying To Ourselves.

According to this segment (and the research supporting it), people who are better at self deception, can modify the way they see the world (and themselves), and are generally more successful, richer, and happier in their own lives. Those who have difficulty in lying to themselves, and thus see the world as it really is, tend to have trouble being happy, and find it difficult to be successful in the same ways that liars are.

I find it interesting that there is evidence that supports something that anyone suffering from depression could have told you ages ago: the balance between being disingenuous and being honest is the surface tension that binds humanity.

Totally

"I don't know what's the matter with people: they don't learn by understanding, they learn by some other way — by rote or something. Their knowledge is so fragile!"

- Richard Feynman.

Suggestions

As someone raised in the later half of the 20th Century, I have come to realize that I am all left feet in the kitchen. I am often embarrassed by the things that I prepare to eat because the rarely take on any of the qualities of "food," and being someone who has an antagonistic relationship with eating anyway, I often wish I could fall back on a Food Pill of some kind. In recent years, I have become dependent on cheap thai alternatives, basic potato 'n' egg breakfasts, and a burning desire to spend a little time in the kitchen as possible. It's not that I don't like eating, but more to the point, I think I would appreciate it more if I only had to do it occasionally. Most of the time, I stave off hunger by eating the bare minimum anyway, longing for a way to combat my own biology by tricking it into thinking I've actually consumed something.

Now that I am the proud receiver of Food Stamps, and can no longer rely on the kindness of cheap take-out and food carts, I need to hone some skills in the kitchen. Fortunately, I can follow recipes fairly well, and given enough practice, can even make some of them edible to people who are not willing to live on the diet I have become comfortable with. I would even like to possible expand my personal menu, as the handful of meals I do know how to make I am rapidly tiring of. It is my hope that developing a cooking technique is a new trick that you can teach and old, lame, blind in one eye, stubborn dog.

So, I turn to you for a simple request: what is your favorite meal, and how do you prepare it? What should I be stocking up on at the market, and are there any kitchen tricks that have proved useful to you? As someone who has avoided picking up any culinary expertise in the last 20 years, every little bit helps. I've got pancakes and rice down pretty well, and frozen vegetables already make regular appearances. I would love to learn how to make something that more closely resembles an actual meal, rather than something to merely tide me over.

Thoughts?

My Hero

According to Wikipedia:

Due to the top secret nature of the work [on the Manhattan Project], Los Alamos was isolated. In Feynman's own words, "There wasn't anything to do there". Bored, he indulged his curiosity by learning to pick the combination locks on cabinets and desks used to secure papers. In one case he found the combination to a locked filing cabinet by trying the numbers a physicist would use (27-18-28 after the base of natural logarithms), and found that the three filing cabinets where a colleague kept a set of research notes all had the same combination. He left a series of notes as a prank, which initially spooked his colleague into thinking a spy or saboteur had gained access to atomic bomb secrets.

That is definitely one way to relieve boredom. What a fucking stud.

A Little Of Both

There is probably nothing more depressing than watching "The Secret of NIMH" at the food stamp office.

But, there is nothing more exciting than having a large Russian man named Yury give you $200 a month to buy food.

Thanks, Yury!

By Crom's sword...

I Concur

"If we don't cherish the work of Flann O'Brien, we are stupid fools who don't deserve to have great men."

Anthony Burgess

The Living Undead... Musically Speaking

Four hours of radio comin' atcha on this beautiful Saturday Morning. I cover for Ricardo Wang to bring you a two-hour jam of live experimental music, preceded by two retrocasts from 2006 and 2009, respectively. Ob-soive:

10:00 AM
4 April 2006 Retrocast of: "Instru-mentals"
( Featuring an entire hour of music without words, in an effort to explore other regions of the musical brain.)

Original Playlist

Here's a quick anecdote from today about this one: After I started this one, I went upstairs to get some coffee, and saw a couple of kids talking while the show was playing overhead. (KPSU broadcasts to the SMU building on campus.) When The Conet Project track came on, one kid said to his friend, "This is the jam, man!" I really appreciated that.

11:00 AM
4 April 2009 Retrocast of: "The Sound Museum"
(Featuring a journey with myself and Ken Nordine through The Sound Museum, as we explore the kinds of sounds you don't always get to hear on the radio.)

Playlist & Footnotes

This is one of my favorite shows from last year, for a variety of reasons, and has some of my favorite songs in it, too.

Then, strap yourself in for a two-hour extravaganza, as I take you through the last few years of experiments conducted in the Blasphuphmus Radio labs, in conjunction with What's This Called?, all part of a special show celebrating (and covering for) Ricardo Wang as he is up watching the Olympia Experimental Music Festival this weekend.

12:00 Noon
Episode 070: It's Alive Part V: Experimental Jive Part I
Episode 070: It's Alive Part V: Experimental Jive Part II
(Featuring live music, recorded by Austin Rich at KPSU, with a particularly experimental bent.)

Playlist & Footnotes

With summer now in full effect (finally), there will be some changes happening to the show as I sort out how the Vitamin D will effect my body chemistry. Until then, keep your eyes on this page for all updates and information concerning what's to come, as this little show may be expanding with new ideas, new voices, new content, and, well, some of the same music you've come to know and love. Hell yeah.

See ya in seven.

I Want Some Cockaigne

My new favorite Wikipedia article:

Cockaigne

According to Herman Pleij, Cockaigne is a place where:

roasted pigs wander about with knives in their backs to make carving easy, where grilled geese fly directly into one's mouth, where all the restrictions of society are defied, where cooked fish jump out of the water and land at one's feet. The weather is always mild, the wine flows freely, sex is readily available (nuns flipped over to show their bottoms), and all people enjoy eternal youth.

Cockaigne was a, "medieval peasant’s dream, offering relief from backbreaking labor and the daily struggle for meager food."

Hell yeah.

Two Nights In A Row

If someone wanted to share guaranteed sleep remedies, I would be most appreciative.

Because I could really use the sleep.

I Wish

One evening as the sun went down
and the jungle fires were burning,
down the track came a hobo hiking,
and he said, "Boys I'm not turning.
I'm headed for a land that's far away
besides the crystal fountains.
So come with me, we'll go and see
the Big Rock Candy Mountains."

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains,
there's a land that's fair and bright.
Where the handouts grow on bushes
and you sleep out every night.
Where the boxcars all are empty
and the sun shines every day
and the birds and bees
and the cigarette trees
the lemonade springs
where the bluebird sings
in the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
all the cops have wooden legs
and the bulldogs all have rubber teeth
and the hens lay soft-boiled eggs.
The farmers' trees are full of fruit
and the barns are full of hay.
Oh I'm bound to go
where there ain't no snow
where the rain don't fall
the winds don't blow
in the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
you never change your socks
and the little streams of alcohol
come trickling down the rocks.
The brakemen have to tip their hats
and the railway bulls are blind.
There's a lake of stew
and of whiskey too
you can paddle all around
in a big canoe
in the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
the jails are made of tin
and you can walk right out again
as soon as you are in.
There ain't no short-handled shovels,
no axes, saws nor picks
I'm bound to stay
where you sleep all day
where they hung they jerk
that invented work
in the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

I'll see you all this coming fall
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

AHRG!

Stupid fucking insomnia! Stupid! So tired. Blech. Hate everything.

By Crom's sword...

L & R Evening

Not that this is news to anyone, but I am a Love & Rockets fan. (Not the band.) Encouraged by my friend Lyra, I picked up a copy of Music For Mechanics in the early '90's, and over the years would pick up an issue or collection here and there, totally impressed and in love with almost every aspect of the book.

Within L&R there are two main narratives that have been running through the series since the beginning: Locas, written by Jamie Hernandez, which focuses on a group of Latina punk-rock girls from a neighborhood called Hoppers 13 in Southern California, and Palomar, written by Gilbert Hernandez, which focuses on the residents of the eponymously named, magical-realist village somewhere "south of the US border." While a number of other, unrelated stories and characters crop up regularly, including stories by their brother Mario, these are the primary works in the series.

In the monthly comics, the stories within were presented in a piecemeal fashion: there would be a little from Locas, and little from Palomar, a little of this, and little of that, and in the really early issues, a Mario story. Recently, a series of excellent reprints were put together that collected the stories in a way that separated the flotsam and jetsam from each other. Now, you can get a four volume series that covers the entire Locas storyline up to the present (in order), and a three volume series that covers the entire Palomar series. (There's yet another collection that contains all the Mario stories, and everything else that isn't part of the two other storylines... though in many cases, there are crossovers.)

Having (finally) read through nearly everything by all three of these artists, I have become quite torn in terms of how to divide my fan worship. Critically, the Palomar stories are highly respected, and there is something very astute and literary about the Gilbert stories. And while I really do like his work quite a bit, there is a part of me that is drawn to Jamie's work more often. (To be perfectly honest, I really love the Mario stories best, but in terms of output vs. enjoyment, Jamie wins.) I can't exactly stress this enough without using an equally geeky analogy: admitting this is the Comics equivalent of saying you are a Beach Boys fan, but you just aren't that into Pet Sounds.

Even worse than this, I find myself drawn mostly to the Sci-Fi / Latina Wrestling stories, more than the soap opera that is the majority of the Locas stories. When Maggie is flying around the world, repairing robots and spaceships and meeting dinosaurs, I just find myself enjoying the stories more than when Maggie and Hopey are fighting over their "relationships problems." When Hopey's band goes on tour, I'm much more excited than when they show Maggie struggling with her new job as Apartment Manager. When Vicki is in mourning because her old wrestling enemy, Rena, might be dead, and thus Vicki declares that she will only wrestle fair and square for the rest of her career, it feels like a more momentous occasion than when Penny attempts to squeeze more money out of her rich sugar Daddy. To make this point abundantly clear, this is the Comics equivalent of saying, "After Brian Wilson left the group, the Beach Boys REALLY started to cook!"

It is often said of me that I like to take nerdiness to hitherto unknown heights (as recently as yesterday afternoon, by one of my co-workers after I complimented his daughters Avengers t-shirt), and when I started to think about it, this schism in the things I enjoy about L&R seemed to cut right to the heart of that comment. Rather than the artistic and acclaimed work of one person, I like the cheesy soap opera of his brother. Rather than the sharp and sophisticated relationship analysis that happens in later stories, I like the corny Sci-Fi / Wrestling stories. Rather than the (yawn) boring observations on sexual relationships that are bubbling beneath the surface of all the later stories, I seem to get much more excited about spaceships, robots, and dinosaurs.

I'm not exactly sure what that says about me, but if taking nerdiness to the extreme means that I am in love with Latina-Wrestler, Punk-Rock, Sci-Fi comics, then I will make no apologies for my nerdiness. But, to win back at least some of the cred I've lost, I'm starting on reading two imported volumes of Corto Maltese to make up for it.

Frith Be Praised!

Before I knew that today was going to turn out to be exactly the kind of day that I wanted, I was toying with the idea of performing a musical rite in order to get The Sun to take seriously the job it has not been performing for the last few months. Weather or not (no pun intended) this audio ritual will be effective remains to be seen, but fortunately for you, this show rocks in spite of the pseudo-religious content! Ob-soive:

Episode 069: Summon The Sun
(In which I play a bunch of songs dedicated to Frith himself, in an attempt to keep him overhead in the coming months.)

Playlist & Footnotes.

I just got word that next weeks show will be two hour long, meaning that I will need to re-think my ideas for what I was going to play. So don't forget to tune in an hour earlier next week to catch the whole show.

See ya in seven.

Food For Thought

10 Things Every Person Must Do When They Are Growing Up

01.) Make Friends With The Kid Your Parents Warn You About.
While I can't vouch for how well he will treat you, the quality of the friendship you will have with him, or if you will come out of the friendship unscathed, he will teach you how to drink and cuss, how to roll and cigarette, resourceful ways to find porno, and a number of other handy things that the friends your parents want you to have don't know anything about.

02.) Take Hallucinogenic Drugs At Least Once.
And, if possible, I recommend going through a period where you take a bunch. For your own safety, I do not recommend white drugs of any kind, as you don't learn much from them, and they cost way too much money. But the right combination of friends, locations, and microdot can make all the difference in the world between general teenage malaise, and being able to cope with how silly this universe actually is.

03.) The Higher You Can Climb, The More Fun You Will Have.
This is like one of those equations that you can count on every single time. Drinking a six pack with your friends is great. Doing it in a treehouse is better. Getting on top of your High School after hours = even better. There isn't actually a lot of reason or logic that goes with this one, except that the places that are the most fun to climb up onto are often places that you are not supposed to go. There is a corollary to this rule that says that 'No Tresspassing' = 'More Fun', but if you are going to take that bit of advice, I would do some remedial research about security systems, cameras, guards, and the likelihood that someone is carrying a gun.

04.) Sneaking Out Of The House.
During the years that you live with your parents, you are required by law to sneak out of the house after they have gone to sleep. Weather they would give you permission anyway is a moot point. You need to leave the house when they do not know you have left, and you must return home before they wake up. What you do while you are gone is your own choice.

05.) Break Something.
This one is tricky, because going to jail, earning the ire of your neighbors, and vandalism in general is never acceptable, and in a lot of ways, isn't really the goal anyway. But it is important to find something large, or something made of glass, and smash it in a terribly violent way that does not injure anyone, but makes a lot of noise and leaves a huge mess. (So as to not get called an asshole, keep in mind that littering does not build character, put hair on your chest, or make you remotely attractive. We call it a dick move. Clean up after yourself.

06.) Start A Band.
You do not have to become famous, record an album, or even play live more than once. But at some point you must start a band of some kind, with a defined logo, at least four songs, and grand plans that never come to fruition. The more high concept, the better. Bands like this should be started with a childhood friend from "way back," but barring that option, start it with the friend from #1.

07.) Swear.
Loudly, vehemently, and often. If there is a word you are ever told, by anyone, that you are not allowed to say, it is your duty to learn as much about that word as possible, invent new and colorful ways in which to invoke it, and begin using it as often as possible. While the big seven are really the ones to latch onto, keep in mind that in the right context, and with the right people, that there are quite a few words that suddenly qualify. There are no bad words, merely narrow minds.

08.) Read & Write.
A little milquetoast on the surface, yes, but most people dedicated to print will tell you that the most subversive idea imaginable is to give someone a window into your thoughts and ideas through the written word. Text is not merely a way to bore yourself, but a conduit through which terrible and horrific notions can come to life, play out their grisly lives, and quietly die in the backs of our minds, to add to the compost that feeds our everyday thoughts and ideas. Scarier than anything your parents could ever warn you about, what you are ingesting with a flashlight beneath covers is often just as dangerous as any drug you take, and therefore, must be done with intense regularity.

09.) Walk Out On A Job That You Hate.
As you get older, the balls it takes to do something like this will slowly shrivel away, and as paying bills and being responsible becomes more and more important, it will be harder and harder to enjoy the satisfaction that comes with telling an employer you don't like that they can, "Fuck Off." When you are young, there are a hundred shitty jobs that are looking for teens every single day, and you will be able to recover very quickly. But until you have hosed down your manager in the dish pit, burned an apron out of frustration, or simply stormed off in the middle of a lunch rush, you will never know the true joy that comes from letting a shitty boss stew in his own juices while you're off enjoying an unexpected day off.

10.) Tell Your Parents They Are Wrong.
Because they are. When they were your age, they did the same things, and thought their parents were wrong for denying those things. It goes on and on. While they will not believe it, or remember, or realize it, only the hindsight of middle age has helped me realize that, yes, they were. And if I ever am a parent, that I will be, too.

Landslide

Took this love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
And can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Oh oh I don't know, oh I don't know

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older I'm getting older too
Yes I'm getting older too, so

So, take this love, take it down
Oh if you climb a mountain and you turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring you down, down
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills

Well maybe the landslide will bring you down
Well well, the landslide will bring you down