Eh, Download It, Already!

Episode 009: The Grumpy Punk

Playlist and Footnotes.

And while you're at it: I ran sound today for What's This Called?, because today Howlin' Houndog and His Infamous Loosers played! It was a pretty damn cool show, so if you like Beefheartian-Roots Rock, then you should also download this show:

Howlin' Houdog and His Infamous Loosers on What's This Called?

I should also point out: for those of you who were wondering what happened to the Dead Air Fresheners performance on signal-to-noise ratio, there was a last minute cancellation due to personal complications. A spokesman for the Dead Air Fresheners told me that they will be making up the performance at some point, so keep your eyes peeled for more information.

The Grumpy Punk

In prepping for my show this Saturday, I got into a semantic argument with myself:

What is punk music?

I think this debate began shortly after the first issue of Punk magazine was published back in the day, which was dedicated to this "new" form of music that they were all fans of. Even the origins of the word is steeped in self-analysis, so it only makes sense that 30 plus years later, there is still plenty of room within the discourse to start defining terms again.

Always inspired by kungfuramone and his interest in lists, I tried to think of a short list of bands that seemed, to me, "essential" to any such definition, but as my Short List became ironicly named, it occured to me that I might be trying too hard. For different people, the word "punk" evokes a hundred different bands, eras, styles, and politics, and to try and do something like that on my own would be silly.

So,

What I need is a shoot-from-the-hip, quick-response list of the five bands that first come to mind when you think of punk. Post it in a comment. Do it now.

Thank you for your time.

Five Ways To Improve PDX

I often like to think of myself as being on the cutting edge of social change, so here are five ways we can all pitch in to help improve our community. I urge everyone to take action... NOW!

1.) Purchase a large quantity of disposable razors, and put a stop (once and for all) to all the bearded indie-rock that's ruining our fair city.

2.) Since the beginning of time, humankind has rarely accomplished anything worthwhile between 3 PM and 6 PM. (Look it up; would I make this up?) I suggest we institute a mandatory siesta. Those who do not take advantage of the mandatory siesta are not allowed to interact socially until they've taken three hours out of their day to rest, relax, and calm the fuck down, before they're allowed to go out in public again.

3.) For every show, concert, party or otherwise artistic social event that starts at 10 PM and ends at 4 AM, an equally cool, equally fun, and equally accessible event needs to also occur between 10 AM and 4 PM.

4.) Reading Parties instead of Cocktail Parties. Home Cooked Dinner & A Rented Movie instead of Going Out. House & Basement Shows instead of Paying a Cover. Burning Parties instead of buying records. Interacting With Your Friends instead of Everything Else That People Do.

5.) Stop. Raining. Now!

Tune In and Follow The Story!

Sorry for the delay in bringing you Part II, but fear not! Now, relive radio as it was heard nearly 70 years ago... TODAY!

Episode 008: Blasphuphmus Radio Theater Presents! "The Adventures of Superman" Part II
(Featuring four episodes of the 1940 classic radio serial: "Locomotive Crew Freed," "The Silver Clipper," "The Atomic Beam Machine," & "Fuel.")

Footnotes & Playlist

Part III will come to you some time in March (TBA), where we will wrap up the second major storyline of the Superman Serial.

See ya in seven!

Bikini Girls With Machine Guns! Live!

Things have been pretty hectic in radioland lately, so I feel pretty bad about not plugging Wednesday's live, on-air event before it actually happened. But, fear not! The Inter-Web-A-Tron offers the wonders of the past in the present... or the future! And in this case, it's good that we can unite all three, because I was able to run sound for the only Cramps tribute band in Portland, Bikini Girls With Machine Guns! Ob-soive:

Bikini Girls With Machine Guns, Live on signal-to-noise ratio!

With the recent passing of Lux Interior, there have been a number of radio tributes (including one on my own show, still archived here at the end of the hour), but with a live performance by an actual tribute band, you more or less can't go wrong. Especially with the choice of musicians filling out the band: half of the sorely-missed Eat Your Heart Out combined with all of the still-amazing Hairspray Blues. Of course, hosting it on Ranger Mike's signal-to-noise ratio was an excellent choice, and of course, having the wonderful Miss Meghan return to radio as Mike's co-host was just the icing on the cake. (Meghan hosted the very-much-missed Songs The Lord Taught Us show before she decided to travel the world for a few years.) All in all, it was the COOLEST hour of radio that's been broadcast in quite some time, and you would be remiss in your duties as an American not to listen.

While we're on the subject of radio: I'll be running sound for Ranger Mike's show again next week for a live, on-air performance of the Dead Air Fresheners with Jennifer Robin. (That's February 25th for those of you who like to add these kinds of things to their calendars.) The Dead Air Fresheners are no strangers to KPSU, but with a guest joining their line-up, anything could happen. Tune in at 8 PM to hear the set live, and watch this space for archive links afterward.

Lastly: don't forget to tune in tomorrow for Blasphuphmus Radio Theater Presents: The Adventures of Superman, Part II! It's retro-casting at its finest, brought to you by Blasphuphmus Radio, and KPSU.

Booze-A-Ma-Hol: A Personal History

I quit drinking over the summer, and while I had one or two bevvys between then and New Year's Day, since the beginning of the year I've taken a hard-line about it, and haven't had any alcohol in any form.

There were a confluence of reasons for deciding to quit: personal, medical, financial, social, etc. It's hard to single out any one thing, or rather, I couldn't shift the rational to something specific. There were just too many things all pointing to the same thing, and I'm a big believer in self-analysis. I guess I didn't really need a reason to quit, per se, but in my mind it was that much easier knowing that it wasn't just a passing desire to prove that I could, but rather a well-reasoned decision that came from within me that was informed by my entire life.

When I tell people I quit drinking, invariably there is a pause while a strange look creeps across their face. The look says, "Oh. What happened?" But the next comment is generally, "That explains why I haven't seen you."

It's weird. In our culture, there is an assumption that either you never drank, you currently drink, or you have a problem and you shouldn't ever drink. But in my case, I don't think I had a problem: I never missed work, never missed school, paid my bills as near to on time as is possible in the US, and never blacked out or became violent. In fact, I would be hard press to remember a time that I did much of anything differently than I would when I was sober, except drive and remain conversationally coherent. Of course, none of that means I didn't have a problem, either. But I was always of the opinion that I was a fairly pleasant drunk who really liked bourbon and the places that sold it.

I'll be honest: I drank a lot. I pissed away so much of my income over the years that it's hard to imagine what I could have done with that money in the meantime. (A car? A House? A nice stereo, for Earl's sake!) I woke up with so many hangovers that it was starting to feel commonplace, and you could pretty much count on me buying something most days, if for no other reason than to restock the fridge or get another bottle of Maker's Mark. I know perfectly functional people who drink WAY more, and plenty who drink way less, too. I guess, for me, it just wasn't as much fun anymore. Or, rather, when I went to pour myself that final shot, I began to question if I actually wanted it, or if I was just used to the idea of wanting it.

I know, I know. Far too, "What Does It All Mean?" for someone outside of France, but it's been interesting observing my fellow humans lately. I know one or two people who don't (and never) drank. I know another married couple who both used to drink a lot, and now don't for more or less the same reasons. And outside of that, it's been really hard to find other people who don't drink.

Nor am I only looking to hang out with people who don't drink; I encourage it among my friends and have even bought beer and wine for the house so I could offer some to guests. But there is a certain amount of pervasiveness about drinking that is starting to worry me, and a casualness to the quantity of drinking going on around me. It would be one thing if the majority of the drinking I saw around me was your typical kind of Workin' For The Weekend partying that I am 100% behind. Unfortunately, it seems, that is only a small percentage of it.

Yesterday while I was getting breakfast, I saw a table of PSU students at 9 AM on a Thursday each with a cocktail and their Engineering Books on the table. None of them could be any older than 22 or 23. They were actively scribbling notes, using calculators, going through texts, etc. As the waitress came by and asked if anyone wanted more drinks, there was an emphatic, "Yes," from everyone. Then, one guy adds, "But that's it. We've got class in an hour."

Next time anyone asks me why I quit drinking, I'll just tell them that story. I think it gets the point across much better than, "Well, I just quit."

Dogs! In! Space!

After many years of being obsessed with this movie (mostly due to the near-daily viewings of it when I lived with Lyra Cyst), I finally managed to borrow of cassette copy of it, encode it digitally, and make myself a CD version I can now bump and grind whenever I want.

While I can never adequately explicate how stoked I am about this, liken it to when you finally managed to figure out the name of a song you taped off the radio years ago because a friend of yours just so happened to play it at a party.

Why is it that encapsulated in the two above-mentioned experiences, I think I've managed to summarize a good 70% of my previous emotional experiences? Sigh.

8 Days A Week

I just need 24 more hours.

Just like I have every other week for the last 33 years.

Get Your Romance Here!

I didn't think it was possible either, but I managed to do an entire show on Valentine's Day and not once did resorted to cynicism and irony! Ob-soive:

Episode 007: Valentine's Day Special! "Songs For My Baby"

Playlist and Footnotes.

This was a really challenging show to program, but fortunately this year I actually have someone to celebrate with, and that helped point me in the right direction. Thanks babe!

Next week, stay tuned for the return of Blasphuphmus Radio Theater Presents! With the return of, "The Adventures of Superman, Part II."

See ya in seven.

Happy

It's rare that I get to celebrate Valentine's Day with anyone, and over the years I've become fairly cynical and jaded about the holiday. (I think this might be the first time I haven't referred to it as VD.)

Still, it's strange going into this one feeling this way and having someone to celebrate it with. I can't seem to shake this non-negative feeling emanating from within, creating a weird, upturned effect at the corners of my mouth. I have this strange urge to hold doors open for people and say, "Hello!" to complete strangers.

It's somewhat disconcerting, so I'll keep you posted if this develops into some sort of debilitating illness, or in some other way leads to something disaster like and, thus, more recognizable. In the meantime, if I seem a little dazed and confused today, it's probably just one of those foreign upbeat moments that I'm not quite used to.

Should I be worried?

Percolating Ideas

I just finished plowing my way through a huge section of The Male Body (by Susan Bordo), which falls into the "Social Sciences" genre. (I've always wondered about the phrase "Social Sciences." Is there hard-science to social behavior? Or observations and assertions?) In the chapter I read, she discusses a few different aspects of constructed male behavior (distilled into the folk-wisdom, "Boys will be Boys," that so often gets repeated in our culture).

These constructions are, ironically, presented as a biological imperative, or an evolutionary hold-over from more primitive times. (One example she returns to again and again is the popular late '90's psychobabble that came in the form of, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." In it, the author asserted that men and women are just "hard-wired" differently in a way that was, unfortunately, unknowable, and therefore something we just have to learn to live with.)

Without trying to make the claim that there aren't differences between men and women (which, I'm sure, would stir up trouble for all concerned and is actually pretty far from what I believe anyway), I have to agree with Bordo's point: modern male behavior , what is and isn't acceptable, and how people respond to images of the male body, are entirely constructed in a given culture.

And dammit, I wish I'd known that sooner. I have often suspected that the reason I don't relate to sports, hunting, cars, fighting, and macho bullshit - essentially, most men that you meet - has less to do with me as a person, and more to do with what other people think they should be relating to. I have never been able to articulate this notion as well as I just did, but I always felt that it wasn't my fault that I'm not interested in typically "male" things. Now I'm pretty stoked to realize that all that Hemmingway crap was exactly that.

Which is odd, because I distinctly remember thinking simultaneous and divergent thoughts when it comes to this kind of behavior. I would watch two of my friends start throwing jabs at each other and say, "Yeah, that's just the way guys are," and then look at my complete lack of interest in doing anything like that, and wonder, "Why not me, then?" While Bordo doesn't manage to clear up all of my confusion about the constructed nature of masculinity (I would have liked to see more source-cited research to support her claims), I feel much better knowing that there is some amount of validity to how I've felt most of my life.

I don't want to throw a football. I don't want to be the strongest guy in the room. I don't want to accumulate sexual conquests. I don't even want to grow facial hair anymore. But I still want to be a man, and feel good being one. And I think that some of the ideas Bordo is getting at are, in a strange and very unexpected way, finally making me feel that way, too.

Any further recommendations on this subject?

For A Change Of Pace

So often this space is reserved for those moments in my life when the tension finally tips the scales into the realm of irritation, and I find myself time and again starting new paragraphs with the phrase, "And another thing..."

So, here it is, for the very first time: a different kind of list!

Things I Love

1.) Virtually incoherent experimental music.

2.) Modernists art films that border on an unbearable length.

3.) Meta-Text, in all it's forms. (Including this one.)

4.) Comics, especially rambling sagas that go on for hundreds of pages, preferably with an adventure / sci-fi angle. The writer's from the UK? Perfection!

5.) Lost. (I know, I know, I'm a sucker like everyone else.)

6.) Alphabetizing, filing, sorting, cataloging, indexing, and organizing in every imaginable permutation.

7.) The invention of baking, hygiene, and written language.

8.) Daylight Savings Time (fall back only)

9.) A sense of accomplishment.

10.) The people in my life who make all of this - everything, in fact - entirely worth it. Thanks.

Pleased To Meet You

New Day! New Time! Old Songs!

Episode 006: Re-Introduction, Again
(Plus! Lux Interior Tribute Minicast!)

Playlist & Footnotes.

This is a great show to start with, if you've been curious about Blasphuphmus Radio. It gives you the flavor of the kind of stuff I do in a new, Portland / Vancouver Metro Area kind of way.

Next week: I tackle the big VD with "Songs For My Baby."

Get ready to get sexy.

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

When I'm lyin' in my bed at night:
I don't wanna grow up.
Nothin' ever seems to turn out right:
I don't wanna grow up.

How do you move in a world of fog
That's always changing things?
Makes me wish that I could be a dog.

When I see the price that you pay:
I don't wanna grow up.
I don't ever wanna be that way:
I don't wanna grow up.

Seems like folks turn into things
That they'd never want.
The only thing to live for
Is today.

I'm gonna put a hole in my TV set;
I don't wanna grow up.
Open up the medicine chest;
I don't wanna grow up

I don't wanna have to shout it out.
I don't want my hair to fall out.
I don't wanna be filled with doubt.
I don't wanna be a good boy scout.
I don't wanna have to learn to count.
I don't wanna have the biggest amount.
I don't wanna grow up.

Well when I see my parents fight:
I don't wanna grow up.
They all go out and drinking all night;
I don't wanna grow up.

I'd rather stay here in my room.
Nothin' out there but sad and gloom.
I don't wanna live in a big old Tomb
On Grand Street.

When I see the 5 o'clock news:
I don't wanna grow up.
Comb their hair and shine their shoes:
I don't wanna grow up.

Stay around in my old hometown.
I don't wanna put no money down.
I don't wanna get me a big old loan.
Work them fingers to the bone.
I don't wanna float a broom.
Fall in love and get married then boom.
How the hell did I get here so soon?

I don't wanna grow up.

New Show! New Time Slot! Double The Exclamation Points!!

Today's episode of Blasphuphmus Radio asks the question: where have all the Groundhog songs gone?

Episode 005: Post-Groundhog Day Special! (2009!)

Playlist & Footnotes.

I think I prefer the second half of the show myself.

In other news, the powers that be have granted me a new time slot at KPSU: 1 PM on Saturdays! It's actually a great slot, and I'm really looking forward to filling it. It starts this week (the 7th), so tune in to hear my first citywide broadcast in quite some time. Following What's This Called? will not be easy, but I think it'll be the perfect preface to anything I manage to do every week.

Those of you who podcast the show: nothing changes. You'll just start getting the shows on Saturday instead of Tuesday.

For those listening via terrestrial sources: 1450 AM in the Portland / Vancouver metro area, and 98.1 FM on the Portland State University Campus. You can also stream the show live at kpsu.org.

Saturday's show is tentatively titled, "Re-Introduction, Again." Pleased to meet you... won't you guess my theme?

Don't forget audience participation: 503-725-4945. You, too, can be on the radio!

See ya then.

Riding The Bus

I finally found the perfect sound accompaniment for riding the bus.

In my usual perusal of the Public Library, I was so completely shocked to find these two CDs that I practically cackled when I snatched them off the shelves, to be checked out.

It makes perfect sense: Traffic & Crowd Sound Effects CDs (produced by the BBC). My biggest complaint about the commute has been that, occasionally, the traffic on the street or the voices on the bus are so loud that I can't hear my music.

Now, if the sounds of people talking get too loud for me to hear the sounds of people talking on my iPod, somehow I'm not that concerned.