You Have No Sense Of Humor

This is not the first time this has happened to me.

Regularly, people tell me that they don't like my behavior or attitude. I guess I can cope with that. I am not exactly easy to get along with at times. I have extreme beliefs and points of view, and I'm extremely passionate about the things I care for. I get that. Most people are bland and uninteresting, and they take any sign of something outside their sphere of understanding to be a threat. This is why mental illness is often seen with hatred, or hostility. It telegraphs a potential for aberrant behavior that is within all of us, and shows us what can happen when all regard for social mores are thrown out the window. Most people fear it, seeing it as a disruption to the normal way of life.

To them, I say: fuck off.

Throughout my academic career, I have had one conversation, ad infinitum, with nearly every teacher: "We need to discuss your behavior in the classroom. Now, certain students have come to me, saying that they find your laughter and comments in class to be disruptive. I need to ask you to stop having a good time when you're in my class."

Fuckity bullshit, is what it is.

Admittedly, I like to laugh. This universe makes little sense, and nearly every interaction with other people is embedded with human shortcomings, moments of bizarre circumstance, the comedy of humanity trying to find its place in nature, and millions of other things that are so ridiculous and hard to make sense of. I can't help but laugh at everything. There are few things I see every day that do not make me want to laugh out loud. If you are not laughing at 90% of what happens to you on a daily basis, you are not paying attention, vapid beyond the point of value, and most likely someone with poor judgment and morals that should not have influence on the world around you, anyway. It is sad, but true. If you cannot come to terms with the fundamental absurdity of every waking minute of human life, then you do not deserve to share oxygen with the rest of us. Grow some common sense and perspective, or get the fuck out of my way.

What's worse is that this always happens in classes with jokey professors. These are the kinds of teachers that can't resist a pun, always have to comment on the course material, look for the absurd and strange in the way they lecture, and when all else fails, regularly tell jokes in class. This is like taking a kid with a Nintendo habit to a video arcade, then asking him to sit quietly in the foyer while Mom & Dad play pinball. It is not going to happen. What's worse is to imagine the scores of other people in that room with the professor, all staring blankly at this person who is giving it their all. Are they cruel? Do they have no sympathy for those around them? They clearly do not feel the need to allow any joy into their lives, and what's worse, they themselves probably think they are right. How awful it is to intentionally leave a professor in the lurch like that, refusing to let them get in a moment of joy as they attempt to teach you something that you could care less about? I can't think of anything more mean-spirited.

And, of course, the passive aggressive angle is even worse. It would just be too reasonable to come up to me directly and tell me that my behavior in class is disruptive. (Which it isn't, as I'm interacting diologically with the professor's own rhetoric.) The tactic of telling the professor to tell me to shut up only creates an us-vs.-you dynamic. In every case where I've had this conversation with the professor, it has ended with, "I know this is silly. I don't mind you laughing, and I think it adds to the class. But this person feels really strongly about it, so..." You have already illustrated - to both the professor and I - that you have no real academic value in the class, and that this issue is more about asserting arbitrary power to prove that you can, rather than to actually balance a classroom that was previously on the edge of chaos.

This has happened to me more times than I can count, going back as far as I can remember. Someone got mad at me for having too much fun, at school. They were angry because I was engaging with the professor and the material. They saw my slightly unhinged behavior negotiating with reality, and they panicked. And the worst part is, this is the same kind of person who will undoubtedly be my boss at some point in the future.

Let it be said: you have no sense of humor. You are a terrible person. You fear the unknown and you have no ability to deal with the world as it truly is, or how it truly functions. You have no joy in your life, you are most likely unhappy at home, and chances are you lie to yourself daily to prevent yourself from facing any of these truths. You will continue to be a poor excuse for humanity, devoid of any real cultural value, and your passive aggressive bullshit will continue to alienate you further and further from those who may be able to help you. Eventually, you will end up sad, alone, incapable of understanding how your life brought you to this point, and undoubtedly a small person with a minuscule amount of power over something that is ultimately meaningless.

Good luck in life. I will be laughing at you, and everyone else like you, until the day I die.

Goodbye and fuck off.